Ladybug Luck and Disappointment



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God and nature can send you messages at the best and worst times. Sometimes you need them, sometimes you feel like you don’t. You don’t always understand why a certain thing happened, but if it happened, it is because God willed it. The reason I share this is because as my friends and family know, I tried out for the Mary Washington dance team. The final auditions were Friday afternoon and I felt totally ready. My knees were bruised from the floor parts of the tryout dances, I was sore, but I felt super prepared for the audition. I went in and I thought I did an awesome job. Fast forward about two hours: I get a few texts from the other girls who tried out with me if I had gotten my results. They had made the team and they wanted to know how I did. I hadn’t gotten an email. At this time, it was about 7 pm and I still hadn’t heard anything. I was getting anxious, but I still went off to a freshmen event my Campus Ministry was hosting to take my mind off it.


Fast forward about another two hours: I still hadn’t heard anything. I ended up emailing the team captains and asking what my results were since I had not gotten an email yet. A few minutes later, I am sitting with my feet in the fountain outside of my dorm with my friend, Emily, when I get a response. I open it and read it: I didn’t make the team. I sit there in shock for about 30 seconds before I hand the phone to Emily and lean my elbows onto my knees and put my head in my hands. I sit there silently crying for a couple of minutes while Emily comforts me. (Side note- shoutout to Emily for being an AWESOME friend while I was a hot mess at 9:30 on a Friday night. YOU’RE AMAZING!!!)

Now, by this point, you are probably wondering to yourself, where do the ladybugs come in? I’m getting there! Once I finally (but barely) pull myself together, I notice a ladybug sitting on my left thumb. I take one look at it, and remembering that ladybugs are considered to be lucky, say out loud, “Where were you five minutes ago?” Emily laughs and I smile slightly. I then say, “Maybe this is God’s way of saying that luck will come your way soon.”

I am not writing this out of anger or frustration; I am writing this to share that life doesn’t always work out the way I was hoping. This only means that I’m going to work harder next time and hopefully I’ll make the team next time. God obviously had plans that didn’t match up with what I had hoped for, but in the end, maybe it’s a good thing. Am I disappointed? Yes, I definitely am. But am I okay with it? I’m getting there, and it’s thanks to Emily and another friend Allison, for keeping me busy for most of Saturday.

To the other freshmen ladies who tried out with me and made it: Katie, Miranda, and Colleen, I’m so excited to see you ladies killing it at halftime during basketball games this season. I’ll be the one cheering the loudest for you all in the stands.

Thanks for reading!




One thought on “Ladybug Luck and Disappointment

  1. Great writing, Alexandra. I’m sorry your dream was crushed. Your attitude will push you forward to what God has planned for you. It may take a while, but the reason will come forth. Keep that head high, & press forward. There is a better plan to come!!! Bless you!


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